Feb 22, 2012

Moments. Missoni. Moments of Missoni.

I have this cafe I always visit when I'm in the CBD on a weekday.



It's usually around 1pm when I stand right here to order my weekday skinny cap in lieu of lunch.  I've been up since 5am, driven the hour to and from work (where ruthless efficiency is strictly observed) and then caught the bus into town.  The drawl of Italian accents all around me soothe the edge of the harsh bangs and whirs of the espresso machine and all too soon I'm handed my coffee with a flourish.  I hit the street and my pace quickly matches the ambient tempo of the lunchtime crowds around me.  I've made it just in time for another doctor's appointment.

It was the same but different today. While all my other appointments have been about tests, results and reasonable time frames to 'wait', there was a finality about today's appointment.  It's show time.  I'll be starting IVF sometime after London.  That last sentence proves my innate ability to glamourise anything.  Who else would have thought to couple a medical procedure to 2012's  European city with the mostest?  The next 6 months will either the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning. This time frame gives me hope.  One way or the other, I'll be done by September 2012.

The wall of pensiveness and pessimism that I've hit today has taken me by surprise.  Up until now, I'd been counting down the days until this appointment.  I'd been looking forward to the potential of each IVF cycle and the hard science of blood tests and imaging.  In the manner of a good Showtime telemovie, there would be teary soft focus Moments aplenty.  So what's wrong with me now?

I think it's because I've lived with this for so long now that I've found a familiar groove in my current cycle of emotions surrounding pregnancy.  It concerns me that should I come through this a mother, I will find  myself unable to live in the Moment, so uncertain will I be that they will last.  Painful, illogical and unproductive as these feelings are, they represent a kind of cynical certainty.  That when things end there will be grief but then my resilience will kick in and I'll be jetting off somewhere exotic to find myself (and the local stores).  For the record, my back up plan this time round is Brasilia in October.  A place I chose because it is so far removed from any reality I currently know, I'm sure to enjoy myself no matter what.


Needless to say, my current angst has paid dividends to my wardrobe.  Firstly with this order from My Habit which arrived this morning.  Hence the yellowish cast to the photo above.  It's getting dark again in the mornings here so I needed my desk lamp to help illuminate the photo.

Missoni wool scarf for under $100?  Of course that's frugal.
Missoni is looking like being the official knit wear supplier for London 2012.  This scarf is going to be the thing that saves the khaki puffer jacket I'm bringing as outer wear and will help me not look out of place in the lobby of the W.

$200 gets you this M Missoni cardigan at Gilt.
Gilt were not to be outdone and their recent M Missoni event was epic and guilt free.  All this heavily discounted Missoni must be some kind of karmic retribution for Australia missing out on the Target and Missoni collaboration last year.

And speaking of karma....
Image courtesy of www.smh.com.au

It's game on, Kevin Rudd has quit as Foreign Minister - a job I think he excelled at.  He made the announcement today, in Washington DC.  Somehow, I don't think the soap opera he spoke of has ended with his decision.


20 comments:

  1. All the best for this new journey SSG- both London and the more difficult one that comes after. x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I could help. I know I can't, but at least know I 'm thinking of you and sending you every good vibe and wish I can muster SMx

    ReplyDelete
  3. MotherhoodcareerfashionFebruary 22, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    What K Rudd quit? What did I miss? Must go read up on the news now!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have just found your blog SSG, and I love it! Best of luck with the IVF, I think your attitude is positive and you will be fine. I also hadn't heard of KRudd's resignation. You are a news breaker!
    Love your work,

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good luck with it, it can be very stressful! Love your purchases, they are sure to cheer you up :)


    awayfromtheblue.blogspot.com.au

    ReplyDelete
  6. keeping everything crossed for you that this one sees you knocked up!

    ~x~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Leanne Shea LangdownFebruary 23, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    Best wishes for your travels SSG (for both of them). Neither "trips" need to be your last.  The thing about journeys is you can go on the over and over and over again. And both journeys have one huge thing in common. Both require SHOPPING! Mandatory ... 

    ReplyDelete
  9. SSG I've had several friends go through IVF and can I say, much as you might worry about it, I think you are going in with the best attitude.  A lot of my friends seem to have taken to IVF like it is a gambling addiction.  Just like the next spin of the pokies might bring a win, so might the next IVF cycle, so they can't stop.  They have lost any perspective of the world outside.  The best example of this was when a friend said to me (at the time I was single) "but you could easily have a baby, just go to a club, pick up a guy and get pregnant." And she was serious, she went on to suggest various ways I could lure a guy to have a baby.  Their relationships with their friends, family and husbands have suffered.

    At the same time I know a few people who have accepted that it might work, it might not, but that they were going to set a time limit, give it everything they have and then if it didn't work they would move on to a different type of still fulfilling life.  Those people are the ones who these days - weather they had the baby or not - seem to be the happiest.

    I have my fingers and toes crossed that it all works out.  But even though I only know you through this blog, I feel really sure that whatever way this comes out, you will be just fine in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bring lots of layers for London....please email me so we can meet up sometime when you arrive.  Would really love to see you. xoxo  You'll be in my prayers for IVF treatment....here its quite a journey. x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lisa
    Thank you for your considered response.  It is so hard to know when to stop in something like this.
    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Christine, I will get in touch.

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Leanne,
    You always make me smile with your comments.  Thank you,
    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you, Cathy.

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Right back at you, R!

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thank you, Mica.  The purchases are very cheerful indeed.

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you, Meg.

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you!

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete
  19. Have a wonderful trip to London & all the very best for your IVF. I don't know who you'll you'll be going with but I cannot recommend Genea (Sydney IVF) highly enough. They were marvelous to me & several friends found success with them after failure elsewhere. I also am a big fan of accupuncture both in the lead up to starting IVF & before & after egg transfer. It worked for me & just recently for a friend who I recommended have a sessions before & after transfer & she had 5 previous failed transfers. I'm sure you are always getting advice from others but my comments are made with the best intent...all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Jo
    Thanks for your in put.  That's my clinic too.  I am debating the need to do a few yoga sessions in their wellness clinic too.

    SSG xxx

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. I'm having trouble importing comments from Blogger right now so using Disqus or sending a tweet would be your best bet. X

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails