May 5, 2012

A Saturday Morning Soap Box Post.

'Oh, how the mighty have fallen'.  I don't know if it's appropriate that I quote the Bible (2 Samuel 1:19) right here but God is a compassionate teacher and I think he already knows that often His word says it best.

I was not going to be one of those women.  Or, more specifically, one of those pregnant women.  My experiences were meant to shape me into a woman of great empathy and sensitivity towards those around me.  When my time came, I would refrain from telling Facebook and twitter every detail of my first trimester journey (it's mandatory for me to use the word journey today because Masterchef Australia's new season debuts tomorrow and it would be unAustralian to not paraphrase the judges in advance).

That's right.  In my enlightened state of pregnancy, I would be God like.  None of this #blamethefoetus hash tagging after a descriptive tweet about what I just ate ('too much information' and 'does the world really  need to know?' all rolled up into the one tweet) or backhanded 'complaints' about bloating.  Facebook would be free of soliloquies of slightly more than 140 characters detailing my plight as the only woman on earth to have ever been laid low  by early pregnancy symptoms.

Instead, I saw myself as an oasis of calm.  Deeply grateful to be pregnant and filled with faith that all would be well.  So secure in this knowledge that there would be no need at all to communicate any of the fine detail to a world that has other things to deal with.

Surprise, surprise.  I'm not God and I'm not even remotely God-like at the moment.  I have nothing else to talk about right now except how my pregnancy seems to have taken over my life.  Apparently I'm 3 weeks ahead of the norm with regards to when the fatigue and nausea set in and I hope this means it will end 3 weeks earlier than the norm.  I'm in bed by 8pm at the latest and have slept more soundly than at any other point in my life (except before major exams when the stress just tranquillised me).  Getting myself too and from work and actually working is my proudest achievement of the day.  Second proudest is how I can work miracles on my skin tone with just 4 products in under 2 minutes.  I just need to apply them with a liberal hand and cross my fingers for flattering lighting wherever I am during the day.

Oh, and remember that post a few days back about healthful eating?  'Healthy' is a very loose term right now and it's relative.  My usual salads have lost their appeal and my lunches these days are heated up leftovers from dinner featuring minced meats and tomato based sauces.  I'm trying to guess what next week's whim will be because I need to get the groceries done later today.  I am feeling a predilection to cold cereal and milk.

And then there's the one about how life would carry on as normal until my body shaped really changed.  And by change I mean 'me but with a cute and tidy bump' because I am a product of the celebrity pregnancy generation of women and would not be needing maternity clothes but just a waist expander for my existing wardrobe.  That is what happens to normal women, isn't it?  After all, before that point, there would be absolutely no physiological reason why I could not continue my usual exercise and general routine?  See all of the above for how flawed this thinking actually is.

There were many times before this pregnancy when I was there sitting on the other side of the fertility fence faced with an 'encounter' with a mother to be.  All too ready to come out with a reflex 'does she even know how lucky she is to be having a normal pregnancy?!?!?!' before envisioning the pregnant but stoic me never indulging myself with such talk.  Come to think of it, that stoic me is starting so sound even more annoying than the people she's looking down on.

I still maintain that all pregnant women are lucky, blessed and privileged to experiencing the miracle of creating a new life.  It's just that  now I realise it was my assumptions and not the innocent mothers to be that were seriously flawed.  We are all human and non of us perfect.  Regardless of the stage of life we are all in, we should all be able to express how we feel at a particular point in our lives, within reason.  Who knows, it may not be too long at all before you find yourself where you want to be and having to judge yourself on the same set of expectations you had of others.


  1. Dont worry about the healthy eating, my first trimester was all about potatoes (in any form!). The healthy eating will be back soon :-)

    I feel grateful and thank my lucky stars I'm pregnant every day, but there are certainly days where it's not fun and downright unpleasant isn't there?!

    Oh, and 8pm?! Good work, I was lucky to see 6pm some nights! x

  2. I think it's important you talk about your pregnancy as you said it's sort of taken over you life. The only time it irks me is some Youtubers recently have basically put their entire pregnancy up for others to see. I find that a bit odd. But a post here and there is good. Great to hear you're enjoying the journey. 

  3. A Farmer's WifeMay 5, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    I am just so glad you are pregnant that I don't care what you say about it.

    And I was not someone who shined at being pregnant.  Particularly the second time when I had my head in a bucket for 5 months, a two year old and a house move.  Other people glowed, I groveled.  Never been such a whinger in my life....

    Take care and still a big yay and double yay for every single pregnancy symptom I say.

  4. wow, you write incredibly well!

    congratulations on your pregnancy :)
    my facebook newsfeed is flooded with pictures of baby bumps, ultrasound photos & close ups of 'look what my baby has done to me' stretchmarks
    I think it's fine to facebook about your pregnancy, but i think some things, like stretchmark photos, are best kept for the personal photo collection

  5. I was wondering yesterday whether you had any morning sickness, and I was kind of hoping that you do.... a good sign and all that. That's not to diminish the horribleness of it - I took weeks off work. I know for some of your readers hearing about your pregnancy will be a painful reminder of their own struggles with infertility, but I love hearing how you're going - these are your life experiences now, after all. X

  6. I felt exactly the same as you. So grateful for my situation that every small time I whinged I felt bad. But we all speak from our experiences and that's life. You can't go on feeling like you can't say anything because of someone else, or someone else's reality. It's just life.

    I got cankles, carpal tunnel, oedema, morning sickness, reflux... And boy, did I moan. Despite the two long years it took to get to that point. But the result was worth all the pain and blahness. And six months on she is still worth it, despite the missed sleep, sore nipples and everything else that goes on with being a mumma. Worth every minute.

    Just because you love something doesn't mean it doesn't pi$$ you off.

    K xx

  7. Renee GC Real Estate GirlMay 5, 2012 at 7:08 PM

    Lol well said! I used to feel the same till I was pregnant and now I feel so lucky that I shouldn't complain but cant help myself sometimes - it ends up absorbing every part of life eventually :) Hope that morning sickness goes quickly for you though x

  8. Talk about your pregnancy as much or as little as you want. It is a miracle, and you should be able to rejoice, or complain as you wish.
    Keep well xx

  9. I was initially confused by your reference to your pregnancy as the post didn't begin with Sooooo. I guess that part is over. Your sentiments about pregnancy are true. Morning/all day/worst in the evening sickness didn't strike me very hard but I apparently complained about being hungry all the time. I found the early pregnancy signs comforting as they were my few reminders that I was pregnant before I started to show (apart from the numerous pee sticks with two pink lines). I was a few months away from starting fertility treatment when I fell pregnant so I know how blessed as I was to fall pregnant naturally yet I complained about my little miracle kicking, punching and squirming almost non-stop in the last trimester. My complaints were equal parts woe is me and pride that my baby is healthy and strong.

    As for plastering my pregnancy 'journey' :-) all over FB, I made absolutely no mention of it so scared I was that things might go wrong. I didn't want to have to deal with sticky beaks typing sorry as they pry to satisfy their curiosity as to what went wrong. Those who didn't cotton on to some very cryptic status updates where surprised when I posted a photo of my newborn sans caption or status update. There were quite a few who didn't know I was pregnant, I guess I just looked fat in my photos.

    Enough about me. Congratulations to you and Mr SSG! I wish you a very healthy pregnancy and baby.

  10. It's been far too long since I've stopped by but I am absolutely thrilled to read this news. I know what a journey it has been so far. Congratulations and I look forward to reading more posts on the subject! 

  11. LOL. Life as you knew it is now over.  In the most wonderful yet fascinating ways.  Personally I can't wait to hear more "fallen from grace" stories  Not because I want you to being feeling less than human, but because I like to hear you are (human). My food of choice for my first pregnancy  was mashed potato, peas and carrots. It was all I could stomach in the first three months.  And may I add, the mashed potato was DEB packet stuff. Can you believe that? That stuff is not allowed near my cupboards ever again ... hope your tummy settles soon. 
    Happy Sunday!

  12. Loved your honesty and your pithy sense of humour! I agree with Carly - talk about your pregnancy as much or as little as you want - totally your call. xx M

  13. Firstly a BIG congrats to you both SSG, I am so happy for you! This post brought back some memories from my first pregnancy, in that I waited for so long to become pregnant, soooo excited when I found out, and then the reality of it! Don't feel bad if you complain, become a victim of your hormones, eat weird stuff is your right (and a right, or wrong, of passage) as a mother!

  14. I think at pretty much every life stage we have all these thoughts about how we will and won't do things and they fall to the wayside as the reality hits.  I say just go with it, you are experiencing something amazing and much longed for.  Embrace it, complaining and all.

  15. I think you should talk about it as much as you like or as little as you like. I agree with Carly, you should be able to be joyful or whinge about this as much as you like. Congratulations!

  16. Congratulations SSG! Xx

  17. Dear SSG so happy to hear about your pregnancy and I hope it goes well for you all .  I remember that awful tiredness so well, but another few weeks you will be full of energy again!  And you are CERTAINLY allowed the odd moan!  Lots and lots of love, xxx


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