Looking Back.


 

Baby SSG isn’t the only one with his head in the air furiously looking for where all that time went. He’s just over three months old and the little chicken wing with a shock of curly hair Mr SSG and I nervously drove home in January has grown and grown up. If any part if him still resembles a chicken, it would be his legs which now look like plump Marylands. His hair has settled into a loose wave (when he holds still long enough for me to brush it). The ear piercing, total body crying that was his preferred method of communication has mostly subsided and we now have a little man who coos, babbles and cries. He’s an expert now at knowing which to use when.

 

It’s a soggy afternoon here in Sydney and I’m sitting on the sofa taking stock. I’m thoughtfully sipping a mug of herbal tea as the laundry tries to dry itself on the backs of various chairs and clothes hoists dotted around the house. I have a new concept of time management these days and it involves building in an extra 45 minutes to get ready for any activity that takes place beyond the walls of our house. Days are neither ‘bad’ or ‘good’. They all have just enough of both to make each one special and enjoyed.

 

 
Baby SSG has just gone down for a nap (on the sofa next to me, but a sleep is a sleep regardless of where it finds you) and I’m catching up on a backlog of things I’ve recorded on iQ. Today is my second attempt at watching The Notebook and I’ve decided that not even the considerable charms of a young(er) Ryan Gosling can keep me focused on the plot.
 
 
Dinner is ready and I made it mostly from scratch as opposed to reheating a portion of something from the freezer in the microwave.
 
Earlier today, Baby SSG and I babbled and giggled our way through bath time, tummy time and a good number of tracks from a Wiggles best of album. Then, we made our way to mothers group and had a lovely afternoon. As evening rapidly approaches, the three of us will be settling down for some quiet family time before bed and those precious multiple hours of continuous sleep for us all.
 
Yes, that’s me. Living the ex career woman current stay at home mother dream. This is what I thought life would be like from day one. After all, being at home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, how could I not have time to look after myself, the baby and the house while Mr SSG was at work? And in 2013 as well, with every modern convenience and theory about baby raising at my disposal. Not to mention a career in medicine which has ironically left me even less of a ‘natural’ at this motherhood gig than you would have thought. I’m still scratching my head about that one.
 
What I have come to realise is that coming home with baby is just the beginning. Each day that passes is one of transition and discovery for everyone involved. Raising your own child is also very different from your approach to the people you care for at work. Science and compassion are common to both but in one setting you are treating the ill who have ways of communicating their needs to you. With your own healthy baby, the line of communication are less clear (but louder and more insistent) and the needs continuous and all encompassing.
Time doesn’t just heal. Its passage gives valuable experience and builds bonds as well as relationships. Whilst I cherish the hundreds of happy, Kodak moments of the last 3 months it is the thousands of situations in between that have equipped me best to love and raise this little man who has lit up the lives of his father and I.

 


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