Jun 27, 2013

A Six Month Review.


 

 


 

Baby SSG is half a year old now and I'm now officially one of those mothers that wishes time would just pause to catch its breath now and again. Each day is filled with change. The incremental steps towards another developmental milestone (thank you, Wonder Weeks for putting things into perspective and bestowing calm on my frazzled nerves) as well as those fascinating glimpses into Baby SSG's personality. Baby SSG is no longer just a fragile being I must do my utmost not to break but he's now also a Person. One who loves a joke, who's eyes get beady when he knows he's being talked about and, inexplicably, a boy who giggles with delight every time I walk his leggings across his chest in time to his favourite music.

 

 

But this post isn't meant to be an ode to him. It's a lot more about me. A mother who can finally look back on those first few months and laugh heartily at myself. That rather edgy woman who was simultaneously trying to set new records for remaining functional on half her usual sleep whilst she tried to will her newborn to sleep and cry like the textbooks (and a group of ladies I jealously called the frenemummies) told her he was meant to. She was an edgy woman who liked to think that though she was edgy, she was edgy in an evidence based, well read kind of way which took the .. edge?!.. off her behaviour. I also suspect she was very hard work to live with.

 

 

I also remember spending my rare quiet moments consoling myself that time would fly and as Baby SSG got older / put on weight / started solids / slept through the night / walked / talked / found his own routine things would be 'better'. By which I meant easier in that I'd at least have more sleep with which to deal with the challenges of my little one's life. Each week that passed was taking me one week closer to that ill defined nirvana of motherhood in which I'd totally know what to do at all times and what I did woud actually work just like the experts said it would. Quickly and without tears. Associated day dreams featured me having just 'snapped back' to my pre pregnancy weight sans jelly belly and into the selected highlights of my former life. Just with the addition of my child. Obvious projection of the current season Rachel Zoe Project onto my life going on there, I'd say.

 

Somewhere along the way my mindset changed. With this change came a release from the pressure I'd inadvertently placed upon myself. 'I need to get it done this way' became 'whatever gets all of you through the day smiling (and alive)'. It wasn't just the release of pressure but also the concept of there even being a 'we' when it came to being a mother. That being a family means that everyone has both a contribution and a perspective worthy of consideration.

 

As for that elusive end point of 'betterness' I waited for? I'm never going to be done waiting because every day is going to have its ups and downs and the ones that are more down than up will actually make you laugh with the recollection of them sometime later. Possibly much later and with a glass of wine in one hand. Better isn't what I should have been waiting for but rather patience and the wisdom that comes with my own experience raising my own child.

 

The truth now is this. I'm typing this post one handed because Baby SSG is asleep on my lap after I nursed him to sleep. He's not a self settler and I'm breaking every rule with what I'm doing. Together we're tried all the techniques recommended to us and they've worked with varying degrees of success. Depending on how tired he is and how many five minute blocks of distressed crying I can tolerate. We've simplified our strategy to one sentence. That we love each other to bits and that things will fall into place with time because we're both doing the best we can.

In the meantime, our lives outside of sleep training are waiting to be lived and enjoyed.


For which we will be needing copious amounts of milk for my cups of tea and bones and yoghurt for Baby SSG's sore gums and bones.
 

 

And a new grown up wardrobe in which to explore more of the world now that were both older, wiser and more adventurous. You've seen my new additions previously on the blog but here's a visual of the baby's new gear for winter. A little bit fancy and a whole lot of practical. He's been spoiled rotten by friends and family.

 

Here's to new adventures and going with the flow!

 

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful post.
    Frenemummies! Lol! Honestly you would think some of these women have a phd or something!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for writing this post. I am 10 days into the newborn phase with my second son and I find myself wishing it all to just hurry up and get better. I'm counting down to the magical 6 weeks when breastfeeding becomes a breeze, I no longer have to feed 2 hourly round the clock, he starts to sleep through the night, be more interactive and so I can spend more quality time with my first-born.

    "Better isn't what I should have been waiting for but rather patience and the wisdom that comes with my own experience raising my own child."

    I will keep your wise words in my head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your lovely comment!

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    2. Best of luck for the coming weeks. May you be blessed with sleep soon

      SSG xxx

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