Oct 9, 2017

Life This Week 9/10/2017: Any Regrets?



'There's a time and a place for everything.'
A saying I've grown to love.

'You can have it all, just not all at the same time'
The words of Betty Friedan that I've grown to accept.

I don't know if it counts as a regret but I wish I'd learned earlier in life that the above sayings are two halves of a whole, two sides of the coin toss of life.  Perhaps what I regret more precisely is that I didn't try to learn these truths earlier rather than coming to realize their truth after coming through some painful but life-defining experiences.  But if I hadn't gone through those losses and upheavals then perhaps I might still have not truly learned what it means to let things happen when they should.  To not persist in the futile task of jamming the square pegs of my wants into the round holes of the world and its mysterious ways.

Understanding that things happen in the context of a time scale and grand plan that's above and beyond me has removed a great deal of unproductive thought and anxiety from my mind and allowed more room for gratitude, faith and the ability to (mostly) live in the moment.  Interestingly, this new frame of mind has brought me closer to getting what I want than my previous crowded mindset.

There's a whole lot less wanting and yearning in my life these days which I'm hoping is showing in my face and smile.  With regard to the things that I do want, it's a wanting in a casual backburner kind of way.  I've learned to define the wants more clearly in my mind and also now realize that the key to achieving wants is to be persistent and to make small, sustainable changes.


Do you regret not learning something about life earlier?

16 comments:

  1. I don’t regret anything!
    I have learned to not waste my effort on people who don’t care about me, and to worry less about what people think.
    I’ve also learned that emotions are not reality.

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  2. There are some things I wish I had learnt earlier in my life and as a mum now I'm trying to pass on the lessons that I have learnt to my children so they don't have to learn the hard way like I did.

    Ingrid
    http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au

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  3. I found this post interesting given our topic at church yesterday was around regrets! It's been making me think, and the part that sticks out most in my mind was that the most common regret was 'not...'. We don't always take the chance and opportunities we have and we regret them later, so it's a good way for me to evaluate things. Will I regret not doing or saying this later? I'm using it to try be a little clearer about my wants and needs, as you pointed out, and make sure I'm doing things that will make me happy.

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  4. Nice post. I think patience is part of happiness, but so too is determination.

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  5. Great post SSG. Thought provoking. The whole "regrets" prompt had me really digging deep today also. A big pre dawn exercise in self awareness actually. xo

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  6. I joke that I don't have the focus to regret - aside from song lyrics (for which there is a completely separate part of the brain) I can forget by 5pm that I'd sworn to have no wine between Monday & Friday. I think there's a difference between learning & regretting. Learning to me is more by absorption & through experience & regretting seems almost active. Oh, what am I talking about? Nonsense on a Monday morning, that's what!

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  7. Sometimes I regret not learning certain things earlier, but then I think perhaps I didn't have the maturity to process it when I was younger. I've realised I'm somewhat of slow learner and that's okay.

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  8. I've never seen those biscuits before! Are they new? I'm only asking because I'm sitting on the couch on a Sunday afternoon craving biscuits with a cup of tea. But there are (luckily) none in the house.
    I quite like those two phrases together. I like to think that everything falls into place when it needs to. It makes it so much easier not to constantly worry about whether things will work out in a certain way. It's such a weight off. I know that whatever happens, happens and I'll roll with the punches.

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  9. I think sometimes we only learn through experience. It's a shame when that can hurt others but I guess at least if we truly learn from it then we won't hurt any others? I guess this might depend on exactly the type of hurt!

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  10. Ah yes, I can relate to this and it's particularly relevant given I'm saying that my return to full-time work allows me to learn from the good and bad in my past lives and 'try' to live a happier life this time around.

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  11. I think you're so right. Things can take time to work through the universe toward us, but eventually everything that's meant to be does happen. I've become a lot more panicked as I've matured about things not going right (or how I perceive is right) because SO many times things have gone "wrong" only to turn out to be the better outcome. Hindsight, hey?

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  12. Sadly, we need to have the challenges in our lives to learn the lessons. When it comes to those sorts of lessons, they only come from life experience as we grow up, rather than being told them by someone else when we are in our youth. I agree, we can't have it all at once and need to decide what is most important to us and strive for that, while being satisfied with the small achievements on the way.

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  13. There are so many things I wished I'd learnt younger. In trying to pass those learnings on well they fall on deaf ears as we know that teenagers know everything don't they! Early twenties aren't much better at listening to wisdom.

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  14. I've learned that you can worry yourself into a pit for nothing, and you can look back and should-have, would-have'd yourself to death - it changes nothing and you miss out on so much joy. I just wish I'd figured that out about 30 years ago!

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  15. Sadly, we need to face the challenges to understand the life lessons. Those lessons are also what leads us to discover what is really important to us, and it's those things that are worth striving for.

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  16. That was so uplifting to read SSG and I can only hope that part of the thinking about the topic and then writing it down helped as well. Awesome!! Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek 39/52. Next week: Letter to My 20 year old Self.

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