Apr 16, 2018

Life This Week 16/4/2018: What Is Friendship?


My friendships, my friends and I have all evolved over time. 



I've been very fortunate to have both my old friends still very much present in my life as well as a host of newer friends I've made over the years.  I have social media and text messages to thank for the longevity and breadth of my social network.



Recently, the friendships I've been the most reflective about have been my longer term ones.  The people I grew up with, the ones who've seen me through major life events (both the good ones and the character building ones). 

I'm grateful that time and space have helped us reconnect and in a strange way now find ourselves in a deeper and more 'honest' (or should that be open) phase of friendship.  That the walls we built out of awkwardness and misinterpretation have now crumbled after difficult but necessary conversations have taken place.  I think I finally understand what 'knowing who your real friends are' means.

I'm grateful for those other older friends who've just been there and kept on keeping on with me.  That while we didn't build walls between each other, distance and different life circumstances conspired to create them.  Yet our friendships continue with an easy mutual appreciation of each other as we take up wherever we last left off.


The friendships that surprise me are the ones I've made more recently now that I'm self proclaimed old and almost middle aged.  I've found myself strike up friendships with a more varied range of people than I ever did in my younger years (I feel so old writing this sentence....).  Perhaps getting older and a bit wiser enables you to make connections with a wider cross section of the world because of your own breadth of life experience.  The younger people in my life cause me to reflect positively on my own life at their age while the older people in my life inspire me to not fear ageing but to accept it for what it is.

What does friendship mean to you?  Have your thoughts changed as you've gotten older and gone through more of the trials and tribulations of life?


11 comments:

  1. I think it's sometimes surprising how people your friends with see you - I have a friend who invited me to her 40th in a very fancy restuarant that they paid for. I was genuinely surprised that there were only 12 of us, and my husband & I made the cut. As we left, my husband said "I didn't realise you two were such good friends. I had to reply 'neither did I!'. But when I thought about it, we'd been friends for 5 years and actually been through a fair bit together. I'd just never thought of it like that.

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  2. It's interesting your comment about making more varied friends as you get older. I find myself in the same boat. The older I've gotten the wider range of friends I've made but it's still some of my school friends who I've grown up with that know me best!

    Ingrid

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  3. I've been surprised (and saddened too) by the old friendships that have and haven't lasted. I'm grateful to have the friends I have now, it's not easy finding people who just 'get' you, but it's nice having that. Especially as a mum it's not easy to meet up frequently or reply to messages in a timely manner, so it's good to find people who understand that! :)

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  4. Friendships are relationships that I've developed with people outside of my family circle, based on mutual life experiences or interests. Given that from school age on we spend about 6 hours or more at school or at work on weekdays, away from our family, the friendships formed from these hours are a big and important chunk of my life. I've always treasured my friends and this hasn't changed.

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  5. The friendships that have lasted with me are the non judgmental ones where it's easy when we catch up, even if the catching up isn't as often as we'd like it to be.

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  6. I'm glad that social media has helped you to stay in touch with so many of your friends! Sometimes I think that social media can be really overwhelming in terms of keeping up with everyone and being a good friend.

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  7. HI SSG! I don't have many friends but the ones I do have are steadfast and loyal. My Saturday Sisters are very supportive and I also have a couple of friends who I may not see very often but when I do we can pick up from where we left off as if it was only yesterday. It is the quality of the friendship rather than the quantity of friends that count. Have a great week!
    Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

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  8. As you get older, you give fewer fucks.
    If people don't accept you, you give few-no fucks.
    Hence people who are my friends are people who accept me, and who I can be myself around, and vice versa.

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  9. Really enjoyed this blog as I have also been reflecting on friendship, both the sadness of admitting an old one has withered and is not worth any more effort but also the surprise of meeting "old girls" from school (43 years ago) and thoroughly enjoying their stories, plans and their company.

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  10. When I was young I was really hung up on the idea of a BEST friend and clung to one person. That was a problem for me. As I got older I let that go. I still prefer a small number of true friends than a bunch of phonies,though.

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  11. Friendships are indeed different for us all but have some commonality such as 'changes over time' and some people we meet after a long absence we pick up where we left off.
    I liked reading your gentle and thoughtful post.
    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek 16/52. Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 17/52. School Holidays Memories. 23/4/18 Denyse

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